And now I can feel everything falling apart. I've tricked myself for long enough. Things aren't good and I am slipping into relapse. I don't know what to do. I can't tell anyone, I am so afraid to tell anyone. I don't want people to be disappointed in me. Feeling as if I have caused disappointment scares me more than dying again. I am so lost, I can't do this alone but I can't handle these feelings. I can't. I don't know what to do.